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Country hottie Mindy McCready is back in rehab after reportedly trying to kill herself with Vodka and Ambien (a popular sleep medication) and Dr. Phil may be coming to her rescue. Maybe. Ambien seems to be the new pill of choice for today’s drug users. Sanofi Aventis should just give out samples of Ambien CR with every  gram bag of coke that you buy. That would save a lot of marketing dollars. And in this economy…sheesh!

TMZ has learned the troubled McCready went off the deep end late last week after getting dumped by her boyfriend and collapsed while on the phone with her mother. She downed a bottle of vods and pills in what we’re told was a “suicide attempt.”

She’s headed to Arizona for treatment, and a source says that was all Phil’s idea. We’re told he’s taken Mindy under his wing as a “personal project.” As for whether or not she’ll be on the show, time will tell. (TMZ)

God damn, Mindy McCready likes to be drunk. When I eventually sleep with her, I’ll make sure to tell her that her life is spinning out of control and she needs some help as I throw the money on nightstand and walk out the next morning. But, I’ll leave her a bottle of Stoli and 2 Ambien CR’s with a note that says “call me”. Works every time.

Gillian Anderson is pregnant. Again. Here she is at the X-Files premier in LA looking cougariffic and radiant. Which is a nice way of saying she’s fat. Her boobs look huge so I’d probably still hit it. Yeah. I would.

If you want see Gillian back in the day all naked and skinny you can go here: Gillian Anderson Nude

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This is Joanna Krupa, about the hottest thing to come out of Poland since buffalo grass vodka and solidarity. When she’s not talking in that sexy Polish accent she’s usually in a bikini or nude. Here she is with Cindy Taylor From E! showing how smart and self reliant girls can look when they wear high heels with a bikini. I’d also like to mention that I hate one-peice bathing suits but Joanna seems to pull it off better than your mother did back in the 80’s. What a tramp.

PS. Is that an airbrushed camel-toe in the banner pic? Discuss.

More Joanna Krupa Nude

Julieta Prandi has an amazing ass. Just me saying that solved a differential equation at a lab in India. If you’re thinking, “wow she does have a nice ass, but really, can it be that great?”.

God. Damn. Right.

Top things Julieta Prandi’s ass can do:

1. Cure cancer
2. Save orphans
3. Incite riots
4. Incite raging hard ons
5. Speak of the pompitous of love
6. Crash my server

Asstastic Links.

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• Her pussy smells like chocolate covered cherries too
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This is Hayden Panettiere singing(?) in a video(?) from her new album(?). Last time I checked Hayden was like 16. Boy they sure do grow up fast. I’m hoping that at least a few years have passed since she was 16 because after watching what she does in this video, I think I hear Dateline NBC at the door. PS. Is that Fergie’s voice?

What the F, Diane Kruger? I know you’re German, but this is taking the whole I’m a hot chick but I’m gonna dress in clothes that make you despise my whole reunified nation thing a bit too far. Diane Kruger is insanely beautiful, and yet she wore this travesty to the Longchamps 60th Anniversary Party; which celebrated 60 glorious years of making fine handbags that only ultra rich snobby assholes can afford. This outfit simultaneously makes me sad and angry, because Diane Kruger is usually so pretty and elegant and because I got a boner when I read Huck Finn this morning.

If you have forgotten what Diane Kruger looks like naked then click here.

This is Megan Fox wearing a Star Wars T-shirt to the Fox All Star Party. Which I assumed was about baseball, but they might have just thrown the party to get Megan Fox to show up in this shirt. I think it goes without saying that Megan Fox is the hottest chick in the universe, but I’m skeptical about the t-shirt. Lots of girls these days are wearing vintage tees like Mr. T: I pity the fool, or Knight Rider: KITT, or Magnum PI, TC - the only black guy in Hawaii, etc but rarely do they have a clue as to what it really means. [ed note: I once asked a girl at USC if she knew who the guy on her t-shirt (Che Guevarra) was and she said, "Doesn't he write for that website?" Yes, honey. Yes, he sure does.] If Megan Fox is really Star Wars fan then I think my penis just exploded and I hear wedding bells.

This is Kristin Chenoweth at the zoo. Or at a movie opening at the zoo. Or at a movie opening about monkeys. I’m not sure because research is my kryptonite. I do know that her tits are awesome and they’re all kinds of hanging out, which makes her the best actress ever. I’m thinking she gets an Oscar for her performance in the monkey movie. Ok. Yeah. So I just found out she’s doing a voice and the film Space Chimps is animated. And well monkeys may be close to humans but monkey tits aren’t really that great. Trust me. And to the nosy zookeeper at the Columbia Zoo, you should just mind your own beeswax next time.

Bong. Bong. Dick Wolf, the creator of the ubiquitous Law & Order series, thinks he might have been short changed by NBC, the network that airs all the new episodes.

“Law and Order” super-producer Dick Wolf and NBC Universal are battling over the profits from the crime procedurals that have helped defined the genre for 19 years, the Wall Street Journal reports. This year, Wolf engaged in two legal battles over his creations’ revenue and friends of his say the producer thinks he has been cheated by NBC, the Journal says. (TV Week)

NBC of course, says that Dick Wolf is a greedy bastard. And well, with 3 full time series airing new episodes this fall on NBC and all three in syndication on every single cable channel (You can find an episode of L&O on at any hour of any day ever these days) they might have a point.

So why the old pics of Alicia Witt (who stars in L&O Criminal Intent) from a few years back? Because aside from our dedication to bringing you the most accurate entertainment news available, we also like chicks with big tits. Especially chicks who let their big tits hang out and have a penchant for watching porn.

God. Damn. Jessica Alba somehow managed to get hotter two months after having her baby girl Honor Marie. There’s just something better about her. I can’t put my finger on it. Also, her baby just got paid.

TMZ has learned Honor Marie Warren, celebuspawn of Jessica Alba and hubby Cash Warren, is now $1.5 million richer thanks to OK! Magazine.

We’re hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other “event” — Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved. (TMZ)

I guess you could look at it as a nice college fund, although that baby girl will never see a day of strife in her privileged, genetically superior life. My mom started a college fund for me when I was baby. Well actually she just stuck a pack of Kool’s in my Huggies Pull-ups and forgot about them. Eventually, I learned how to go potty by myself and she found them again. “Good times”, she said, “set for the day.”